The Real Reason We Turn to Vices: Overcoming Fear

When I was in my 30’s, I loved the feeling alcohol gave me.

I was a successful executive at a technology company. I was creating a family. I had everything going for me. Yet, something was off.

Every Friday, I would drink whiskey. It became a ritual for me. I “needed” it to compensate for my rough week. I saw others who I looked up to drinking. I thought it was the thing to do to become an executive. Even in TV shows and movies, that’s what I saw.

At first, I didn’t like it. But over time, the more I drank away the week, the more it became a part of my identity. I could drink and forget about all the crazy shit that happened. I could forget about how our systems weren’t performing well. I could forget about the pissed-off client calls I had to take. I could forget about an underperforming employee. It was an escape.

That leads to drinking more at home. Whenever I would grill, I had to have whiskey. I grill on Sundays for family dinner and meal prep for the week. When I was by the grill, I began to think about the week ahead. I would think about all the crazy shit that would need my attention. So I coped with whiskey. It was a habit I developed.

The alcohol numbed my feeling of overwhelm.

Whenever people reach a point of maxing out their capacity, they experience overwhelm. It’s not fun. Usually, people turn to their vices to cope. My vices were alcohol and food. I would drink the overwhelm away and eat to reward myself. Your vices might differ - smoking, spending too much money, partying, drugs, women/men, etc.

Vices are what we turn to to cope with fear. Whenever we experience, fear, we’ve conditioned ourselves to get rid of the fear by bringing a vice into our life. Our vices construct for various underlying reasons. Some of these may resonate with you:

• Lack of self-awareness of triggers and coping mechanisms

• Difficulty in facing and processing negative emotions

• Lack of healthy coping mechanisms and alternatives

• Social and cultural norms that normalize or encourage the use of vices

• Genetic predisposition to addiction or substance abuse

• Trauma or past experiences that fuel the desire to escape through vices

• Misinformation or lack of education on the impact of vices on mental and physical health

• Peer pressure and influence from social groups or networks

• Inability to delay gratification or seek long-term rewards over short-term pleasure

• Underlying mental health conditions that are not addressed or treated

The moment I realized that alcohol became a habit, things changed for me. I was no longer drinking on occasion, I became triggered to drink. I was no longer in control. The habit was in control.

I realized it was the feeling I was after.

I hear from people who don’t want to give up their vices. They don’t see any harm in them. Here are some of the reasons I hear:

• “Giving up vices means giving up pleasure and comfort.”

• “It’s too hard to quit or reduce.”

• “[Vice] is a part of my identity and who I am.”

• “I don’t have time to deal with my vices and overwhelm.”

• “I’m afraid of facing my negative emotions and traumas.”

• “It’s too expensive to seek help or treatment for my vices.”

• “I’ll lose my social life and connections if I quit my vices.”

• “My vices are not hurting anyone else but me.”

• “I’ve tried to quit before and failed, so what’s the point?”

• “Life is already hard enough; why add another challenge?”

I’m sharing my experience because you don’t know how much better your life can be until you face what you fear. There’s a power you create when you look at your vice and reject it. The more often you do that, the stronger you become. The better your life gets.

It’s not the vice that you seek, it’s the feeling of overcoming your fear that you’re after.

Whenever you are ready, here's how I can help you:

1. Elite Mentoring - Level up your inner game to live a big life. Your mindset is what makes or breaks you at any moment. This intense program will teach you the system I use to grow my career/businesses and perform at an elite level. ENROLL.